forgiveness

i am reminded today about forgiveness.

do you have someone whom you find so difficult to forgive?

there is this person who was somehow related to me and whom i really find so difficult to even hear the name mentioned to me. to me she is the most superficial person i have ever come across, together with the nasal english accent (which was put on, not natural) and the flirtatious tones/gestures especially to the male species. i guess we never had "chemistry" - i cannot explain why. and the feelings we have for each other are mutual - she never liked me too.

she was one factor that contributed to the saddest thing that ever happened to me some four years ago. so how can i say that i don't have any negative feelings towards her?

it has been years - i don't get to meet her anymore (thank god) and i am not related to her anymore (praise god). i know - not so kind of me to say all this in this tone - i have prayed that god will indeed forgive me for this kind of feelings towards this person.

life goes on. i do not wish to remember this person - she is erased from my memory data bank. to me, if i ever see her, she will just be another face in the crowd.

i am not angry with her anymore - i don't wish to - pointless.

no matter what happened to me, i have come out of it and now i have found happiness in god's love and by his grace.

but i cannot forgive her for what she did to me and to my "happy family" years ago......